your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
