he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
