No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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