At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
