my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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