I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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