just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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