put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
