im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
