This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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