Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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