why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
