love makes seman taste better
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
