You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
