We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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