he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
