i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Randomize
