the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
we're so committed to being not committed
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
