Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.

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(773): View more from Illinois

omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...

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(541): View more from Oregon

She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.

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(971): View more from Oregon

Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend

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(907): View more from Alaska

I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.

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(847): View more from Illinois

woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow

(312): View more from Illinois

haha i wouldn't expect any less of you

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(914): View more from New York

I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.

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