she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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