you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize