doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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