Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
