I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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