dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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