that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
