saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
