sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I cannot find my penis.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize