I could make wine with my vomit
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
