He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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