No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
