I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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