Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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