she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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