i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
