Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
