Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Someone shattered a urinal.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
