I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
