I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
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