Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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