I wanna bring you to show and tell
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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