how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
