Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
