Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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