Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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