You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
