I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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