Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
