we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
