arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize