What a fucking waste of an outfit
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
