I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
