I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
