I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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