I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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