Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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