Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
