Non-Jews are for practice
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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