oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
