nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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