Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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