dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
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you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
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Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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