...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize