My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
