i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
