Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just forgot I was standing up.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
