The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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