This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
