4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
